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I like the idea of giving you what you want when I’m not in control. And I know that you don’t love me in the way that you deserve to be loved by that person who will be there for you when you get me out of your life once and for all.
Because then you want to give is to get back together with you. I’m not saying that you don’t love and care about me, but letting yourself down to be with me, and secretly trying to have the last word, is keeping you with me long past my sell-by-date.
Each time you take me back though, it gets rid of that fear.
The moment though, that you give in or even enthusiastically come bowling back into the fantasy and drop everything for me, I know something isn’t right because you’re giving me the time of day. If you let me, I will do this and more to you until the end of time, or at least until you have the good sense to shut me out of your life and even though you need to want better for yourself. You can do waaaaaaay better than me but your unconscious desire to have the last word, to be right, to have what you think is a rejection of you ‘corrected’, is causing you to hang on and call it love. Stop trying to show me how to behave and hoping that I will feel guilty enough about how badly I’ve treated you, that I will spontaneously combust into a better person giving you a better relationship.
Albert Johnson ventured far into the Mc Kenzie Delta and built a small, log cabin on the banks of the Rat River where he reclused.
I could have told you ages ago and, sure, I’ve hinted at it in various ways, but it’s not you. Even when I’ve appeared to give commitment to someone else, I’ve acted up in one way or another.
This is a me-problem, but, OK, I have benefited from letting you believe that it’s something you’re doing or not doing.
The pursuers caught up with Johnson two weeks later far up the Rat River where Johnson opened fire from a thicket of trees on the bank and shot Constable Edgar Millen dead. By now the news of the manhunt had reached the outer world through an emerging medium called radio.
Listeners all over Canada, the United States, and the world, were fixed to their sets to hear the latest on the cat and mouse game between a lone, deranged bushman and the might of the famed Canadian Mounties who ‘always got their man’. The ‘Arctic Circle War’ represented the end of one era and the beginning of another as to capture Albert Johnson. ‘Wop’ May and his Bellanca monoplane were hired to find Johnson from the air and radio his position to the dogsled and snowshoe team on the ground.
I like knowing that someone like you wants to be with someone like me, even though I also know that I can’t give you what you want.
I like the idea of it, in that moment when I’m not sure if you will respond back to my texts or whether you will believe my promises, which admittedly have all fallen through.
In truth, I hate the idea of you not being there, of you not still seeing potential in me.